


too-clear stars, bright, full moon, and vibranium

by Diary



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bechdel Test Fail, Best Friends, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Character of Color, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Sam Wilson, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon Character of Color, Canon Crossover, Canon Disabled Character, Dinner, Families of Choice, Feels, Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Holding Hands, Interracial Relationship, Introspection, Late Night Conversations, Male Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Not Captain America: The First Avenger Compliant, POV Bisexual Character, POV Male Character, POV Steve Rogers, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Romance, Self-Reflection, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Wakanda (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 12:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16787191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: AU. Visiting Bucky in Wakanda, Steve and Sam go from friends to boyfriends. Complete.





	too-clear stars, bright, full moon, and vibranium

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything in Marvel.

Leaving Sam in Shuri’s lab, Steve makes his way to Bucky’s hut.

When he gets there, he takes a quiet breath before kneeling down. Seeing Bucky’s awake, he knocks on the outside. “Hey, Buck. You up for some company?”

Bucky nods. “Where’s the bird?”

Torn between laughing and sighing, he sits down. “Princess Shuri more-or-less confiscated his wings.”

“Good. She might annoy him, but he’ll come away with wings he can always count on.” Bucky moves a board game aside. “I wanted to talk to you about him.”

This probably isn’t bad, he tries to assure himself. Sam and Bucky- have friction between them. But when the chips are down, Sam’s always helped when it comes to Buck.

“It’s not bad,” Bucky says.

His automatic slump of relief probably didn’t help anything, he knows. He’s been reading about body language, and with Bucky’s training on how to read it- Bucky had a knack for it even before Hydra got a hold of him, but now, he’s either almost completely clueless about social cues, or he’s bringing back vivid memories of watching Natasha work.

“It’s your face more than anything,” Bucky continues. “That gives away what you’re feeling and thinking. I remember, we were about eight years old, and I found you crying. Some teacher had hurt your feelings, but I didn’t have a clue. You had a hell of a poker face.”

He lets himself smile. “Yeah, that sounds about the time you started practically knowing how I was feeling before I did.”

“I’m doing better, Stevie. I’m not- I have a lot to work through, but I’m more me than I have been in a long time.”

Carefully reaching over, he touches Bucky’s hand. “Good.”

Linking their fingers together, Bucky squeezes.

It feels so good, he’s tempted to just sit in silence until Bucky decides to let go.

“So, uh, before we talk about Sam, could we talk about this place? I’m still not sure how the economy works in Wakanda, but-”

“This is where I want to be. T’Challa and Shuri have offered me different things. But this is good. It’s not unbearably enclosed, but it takes some effort to enter. I’m not sure what she did, but Shuri made it so that I’m never cold or hot in here. I’m still not up to sleeping on a bed.”

Sam had said something similar, but he’d needed to hear from Bucky that Bucky wasn’t just making do with whatever he could get.

“Okay. Remember, you’re ever ready to leave, and I’ll come get you as soon as I can.”

Another squeeze is Bucky’s response, and hopefully, it’s agreement. King T’Challa and Princess Shuri have both promised to contact him if Bucky leaves, but- “What about Sam?”

“Does he know?”

The question confuses him, and lately, it hasn’t been a good thing when Bucky says or does anything confusing.

“Sorry, but I don’t understand the question. Does he know what?”

“About what we used to be.”

“Oh. Uh, no. It wasn’t my place to tell.”

He knows how this could be interpreted, and the urge to-

“We’re living in a different time, but some of us is always going to be part of the time we came from,” Bucky says. “I wouldn’t have, either.”

This helps some, but part of him is still on-edge with shame, guilt, and grief.

“I think we’d be called ‘bisexual’ if people knew. Sometimes, I think Sam knows, not about us, but about me being that. He’s never said anything, though.”

“He’s a good friend to you.”

“Yeah, he is. Has the queerest taste in burgers, though. Do you remember how we used to get ours?”

A small smile crosses Buck’s face. “Yeah. But you’re not one to talk. You mixed pancake syrup on your eggs, Steve. Do you still do that?”

“Nice loyalty, pal. You know, he doesn’t find that weird. One of his cousins does that, too. She’s- uh, her brain is different than most people’s. Autistic. She doesn’t understand that me and Captain America are, or I guess, were, one in the same. She doesn’t really care about Captain America one way or another, but I’ll have you know, I’m one of the coolest people she’s ever met. She even made me a bracelet saying so.”

Of course, Steve Rogers can’t compete with an honest-to-God superhero. Tamila does understand Hulk is part of Bruce, and there are times when her inability to understand how time works might be a good thing, though, Sam’s made it clear he disagrees with her parents’ decision on completely keeping Bruce’s disappearance from her. Before Ultron happened, Bruce had promised to come watch a new DVD with her (that now has three sequels out) on Saturday, and Tamila still happily talks about how Dr Banner is coming over on Saturday to watch her new DVD.

One of the things Sam’s worried about is, if Bruce does ever come back and is significantly aged, this might cause something even worse than a meltdown.

“She knows what’s what,” Bucky comments. “Do you think he might be like us?”

“It’s still not exactly the kind of thing polite people go around asking.”

The truth is, he’s had his suspicions, especially when it comes to Riley. However, it really isn’t his business. Aside from Sam encouraging him to see if a relationship might be possible between him and Sharon and listening when he talked about Peggy, they’ve rarely talked about women in such a way. He knows Sam had two girlfriends in high school, and he knows Sam is still Facebook friends with one of them.

“You want more with him.”

The words hit him like ice.

“Buck-”

“Part of me regrets some of the choices we made. Do you ever?”

“Yes,” he answers.

Sometimes, he feels like the biggest fraud and hypocrite around. It didn’t take long after he was re-introduced to the world for everyone to shake the idea there was much old-fashioned about him. He’s glad for all the various, easy-to-obtain vaccines, gender and marriage equality, and the fact, if he and Sam weren’t so well-known, them going into a restaurant and sitting down together would be a completely normal sight, unworthy of comment.

He never felt any shame the first time he and Bucky kissed.

Yet, out in public, and even to Buck’s family, they went along with the idea men shouldn’t be together. He never believed it, hated the fact it was accepted, and nevertheless, continued to accept and abide by society’s decrees on the matter.

When Bucky went off, they agreed that they were both free. They’d always be best pals, but asking for sexual fidelity, for them to wait for one another in such a way-

Part of him had wanted to ask Bucky to wait for him and to promise he’d wait for Bucky. They were more than best pals, society was being stupid, the whole damn war was, in part, about how being different shouldn’t automatically make someone less deserving of freedom and the pursuit of happiness.

Then, he’d met Peggy.

He loved her, and some part of him still wanted Bucky.

He’d dealt with this by not thinking of it. Maybe some part of him would always want Bucky, but if she and him were going to happen, they weren’t going to be some war-time fling. He was going to marry her, and he was going to thank his lucky stars every night for the fact there was no one else besides her for him.

“So do I. But we need to face the fact we missed our chance, Stevie. It may not be right or fair, but it is.”

Stretching, Bucky continues, “I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to be with someone in such a way again. And having you waiting for me, that’s an added pressure. For both of us. If I can be with someone someday, I hope it’s someone you like. For now, though, I trust Sam with you, and even if you and him aren’t going to happen, if there’s someone something could happen with, I want that for you.”

Taking in the words, there’s a mixture of relief and sadness.

Part of him agrees with the words and hears the sincerity in Bucky’s voice, but the other part of him remembers the first time they kissed and how he was sure, to hell with society, they were going to be as well as married someday. He remembers kissing Peggy, being sure they were going to be married someday, and firmly pushing away the confusing mess of emotions when Bucky popped into his head.

If he’s ever with someone, part of him is always going to mourn what might have been with Bucky the same way he does with Peggy, he realises.

At the same time, Bucky’s alive, and Peggy got to live a full life. He’s not fully whole, but he’s Bucky again. He’s still Steve Roger’s best friend.

And the only way he could hide the truth without lying if someone asked if he dreamed about kissing Sam, holding Sam’s hand, and doing other things would be to absolutely refuse to answer.

Even then, it probably wouldn’t take an expert in body language or someone who knows his face incredibly well to see the truth, anyways.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Buck chuckles. “There’s the Steve Rogers I could never figure out. You’ve got nothing to apologise for, pal. We were stupid kids in a largely stupid time. You met a pretty gal, and I-”

The squeeze isn’t painful, but it is firm. “Hydra isn’t your fault, Steve. I know some part of you keeps blaming yourself, but you need to stop. Find a way. I was dead. They hurt me. Broke me. Made me- You did everything you could and more. You did everything right by me.”

“I’m trying,” is all he can offer.

“Good. You can tell Sam, if you want. Or others. I was never ashamed of wanting you, either. If people know now, it’s not likely to do any of us any real harm.”

“True.”

Silence falls, and everything inside is raw.

If they could just sit here forever-

Captain America is gone, but the world still needs protecting, and Bucky is never going to be able to learn to truly live and love and have a chance at happiness again if he’s forever sitting it out as time and life goes on outside.

“Do you think one kiss in the 21st century would be okay?”

A soft smile crosses Bucky’s face and fills his eyes. “Yes. That sounds great.”

Bringing his other hand to Bucky’s cheek, he leans forward, and it feels just like the very first time.

“Okay, after the-” Sam’s voice breaks in, and he’s vaguely relieved no Winter Soldier instincts kicked in.

“Sorry,” Sam says. “Next time, I’ll definitely make a lot of noise.”

He disappears.

Sighing, Steve rubs his eyes.

“If you’re afraid your ride isn’t going to work out, you should go after him. And if you’re not afraid of that, you should definitely go after him,” Bucky says, and there’s a familiar wryness he hasn’t heard in a long time.

Putting his hand back on Bucky’s cheek, he kisses him fully. “No matter who either of us might end up with, I’m with you until the end of the line.”

Bucky nods. “Same here.” Untangling their fingers, he moves the hand away from his face. “I’ll see you later, Steve.”

“See you later, Bucky.”

…

He sits down next to Sam.

Sliding over a beer, Sam says, “If you need or want to talk about it, I’m here. If you don’t, I won’t bring it up.”

“It was a goodbye kiss. He doesn’t want me waiting for him, and- it’s been so long since he’s been him, and this world has so much to offer. He needs to focus on that, and if he finds someone good, I don’t want anything we had in the past stopping him.”

Sam nods. “That’s a healthy approach. For both of you. So, how are you doing?”

“Peggy was real. Things were complicated, I probably did some things wrong, and I admit there was some hypocrisy on my part, but I wasn’t using her, because, Captain America needed a girl or, because, I didn’t know or was trying to hide who I was. Bucky and I had a, ‘If we’re both single after the war, we’ll see about us again,’ agreement.”

“That isn’t what this is,” he continues. “It hurts, but he’s most likely right. We missed our chance a long time ago.”

“Just like you and Peggy.” Sam takes a drink. “C’mon, Steve, I know you. I know you were in love with her, and I know it killed you every time you visited her. The same way I know, if you two hadn’t had that agreement, you and her never would have been.”

He relaxes. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Back to my question: How are you doing?”

“It’s all a mixture of emotions.” He sips the beer. “Mostly, I’m glad he’s doing okay. That’s the most important thing.”

Sam clinks their bottles together.

“Did you ever suspect?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure about you and Barnes, but there’s a certain way you get whenever bisexuality’s brought up.”

“Maybe not anymore.” He looks down at his beer. “I won’t lie. Some of it was about me, but most of it really was about Bucky and Peggy. Back then, there being a huge stigma was an understatement. If Peggy were fully herself, I would have told her.”

“I found out the part she played in advancing equality for all people, and yeah, that was the woman I knew. I should have told her back then, but I didn’t. If she told me she was okay with me telling the world, I would have. Because, if she told me she could handle what people might think of her for dating someone like me, if she was okay with what it might do to SHIELD’s legacy, that she built partly on the memory of me, I would have believed her.”

“I get it,” Sam says. “She was one of the most respected women alive in America. Even if she didn’t understand, even if it wouldn’t have affected her daily life, you weren’t going to risk taking that away.”

“I understand about Bucky, too. With almost everything and everyone after him-” Sam scoffs. “Out of all of it, that’d be a big one. So,” he turns slightly, “does this mean you’re interested in someone new?”

Half-wishing he’d never said anything, he takes another drink. “I wouldn’t exactly say ‘new’. Again, it’s complicated.”

Sam laughs. “Okay, you tell me you have something for Black Widow, I’m dropping you off a cliff. They have plenty around here, you know.”

“No, it’s not Natasha- Why the extreme reaction, Sam? If you’re interested in-”

The kick Sam gives isn’t gentle. “Natasha Romanov is a beautiful, gorgeous, fearless, funny, incredibly sexy woman, and I say this with all respect: That kind of woman, it’d take a very specific sort of person to turn her into the marrying kind. Me? I’ve had some fun, but it’s gotten to the point in my life where I’m the marrying kind. Assuming she didn’t kill me, I’m sure she’d show me the time of my life, but at this point, ultimately, it’d be kind of hollow.”

“Fair assessment.”

“This being said, I’ve specifically asked you more than once if you were harbouring something for her, and every time, you insisted it was purely platonic. I find out you haven’t been straight, no pun intended, on that front, off a cliff you go.”

Laughing, he shakes his head. “No. I had pretty much the same reaction you did when I first met her, but she was a team member before anything else, and then- sometimes, meeting someone as vulnerable as you makes it impossible to see them as anything but friends. Family.”

“True. You want to tell me about this person you might be into?”

He hesitates.

“You don’t need to. I meant what I said: I won’t push.”

Even knowing _Bucky_ might be the one throwing him off a cliff, all he says is, “Thanks, Sam.”

“Want to see me testing my wings? I’m honestly not sure what all Shuri did to them.”

“Sounds like fun.”

…

Sam lands.

He claps. “Impressive.”

“Do me a favour, and take a video.”

“Sure. Tamila?”

Nodding, Sam begins flying. “Hopefully, all these videos will keep her calm on the flight to London.”

Taking out his phone, he turns on the video feature. “Hey, Tamila. We’re filming this fifteen days until your birthday. Uncle Sam and I are in Wakanda. Here he is.”

Turning it towards Sam, he zooms in.

“Hey, baby girl. Remember us telling you about Princess Shuri? She made my wings better. One of the things I can do now is...”

Re-landing, Sam says, “Anyway, hopefully, we’re going to be in Russia with Agent Romanov soon. I love you, sweetheart.”

He turns the camera back around. “Have a good day, Tamila. I’m excited about seeing you for your birthday.”

Turning the camera off, he asks, “She still doing okay?”

Sam sighs. “Yeah. She asked what day her birthday was on last night, and they distracted her. Worse, they still aren’t sure what the plan is if she hears it’s Saturday on the flight.”

Part of him wants to apologise, but not only would they be, for all he’d mean them, words with no real action behind them, but Sam wouldn’t accept them anyway.

“I know that look. I made my choices, Steve, and I’d make them again.”

“I know. I’m not sure what Bucky’s plans for dinner are, but I was thinking we could...”

…

It turns out Bucky has accumulated a gaggle of kids who bring food for him every morning and night. They’re climbing all over him, playing with his hair, and competing to have him try the food they brought first when he and Sam kneel down at the hut.

“These are friends,” Bucky tells the children.

The children eye him uneasily, and he says, “Yeah, but we aren’t staying. We just came to say goodnight.”

They quickly leave, and Sam says, “I’m not sure what to think of them calling him ‘White Wolf’.”

“Buck wouldn’t hurt them. His deprogramming is holding, and he knows how to be friends with kids without challenging or undermining their parents.”

“He was good with kids before?”

Chuckling, he nods. “He was great. Sam, Bucky grew up with sisters and courted a lot of dames who had their own share of little brothers and sisters.”

He himself tended to be uneasy around kids, and the fact he had try to avoid anyone who had so much as a cold didn’t help matters.

When he went over to the Barnes’, though, it was more common than not to see Bucky being used as a jungle gym with Bucky treating this as completely normal, moving around, having conversations, and reflexively redirecting and catching any kids as needed.

Once, he’d asked Bucky if it bothered him, and Bucky had looked at him as if that was the dumbest thing to ever come out of his mouth. ‘Course not, pal. It’s good practise for when I have my own.’

“Speaking of kids, do you plan on having any?”

“No.” Sam looks up at the sky. “I did at one point, but that was before the world opened up in ways I never even could have imagined. You?”

“I always wanted kids, but until Peggy, I never really thought it was a possibility. Now- it looks like I’m in the same boat as you.”

“Yeah.” Sam looks over. “I’m going to level with you. I know this is a lot to ask, but if something does happen to me, you need to find someone else to ground you.”

“Tamila is literally incapable of understanding so much of what’s going on in this world. I doubt she’s ever going to be able to live on her own, and I know there are people who’ll always make sure any group home she’s in will be a good place, but she needs more than that. You’re her family, Steve. More than some of her other blood relatives are.”

Moving closer, he squeezes Sam’s shoulder. “I know. And I promise, no matter what happens, the same way I always tried to make time to visit Peggy, I’ll try to be there for her, too. For as long as she lives.”

“You know, just because I don’t agree with it, that doesn’t mean I don’t understand not telling her about Banner. She liked Riley. She wasn’t as close to him as she is to you and was to Banner, but I remember when I had to explain to her why he didn’t come to my welcome back dinner.”

“Did she have a meltdown?”

“No.”

This is one of those few times Sam isn’t going to give more, he realises.

“Well, I’m starving,” he says. “Let’s get something to eat.”

“Sounds good.”

…

After getting food and a cooler of water, teas, and soft drinks from T’Challa and Shuri, they find a place near a pond to sit down.

“I’ll miss the view of the stars Wakanda offers,” Sam comments.

He looks. “Yeah. They are beautiful.”

Howard pops into his head, and this is just what he doesn’t need. For all the issues between him and Tony, Tony likely wouldn’t care about his bisexuality, but thinking of Howard-

In one of life’s absurd ironies, Howard might have agreed with Tony’s statement of him no longer deserving the shield Howard designed for him, but it might not have been because of what Bucky was forced to do. Back in the day, Howard did understand how horrible brainwashing was, and given what he’s read, after he was frozen, Howard stuck up for a few brainwashed people who failed to kill him.

One night, Howard had been drunk, and his boasting about his many female conquests had turned into a rant about men who liked men. For a man who genuinely believed in race equality and did see Peggy as more than a potential conquest, he’d used some uncharacteristically nasty words.

The truth is, he’s never going to know the whole story. As much fondness he had for Howard, he only knew him for an objectively short amount of time. He’s known Tony longer, but-

When he’d heard Howard had a kid, he was determined to make a good impression, and maybe, he should have tried harder, but the first time he was in the same room as Tony, Tony himself made a horrible impression. He couldn’t believe that man was Howard Stark’s son.

Over the years, he’s seen a lot of Howard in Tony, and he’s seen how, in some ways, Tony’s better than Howard ever was, but-

“Are you thinking of someone you lost?”

He looks back over at Sam. “Yeah. Howard Stark. Back when I knew him, he loved the stars. I mean, the stars up in the sky, but he’d certainly tell anyone who’d listen how much he loved the other type, starlets, too.”

Sam chuckles. “Granted, I didn’t know him, but I wouldn’t say ‘love’ was the word he felt for those starlets.”

“True. You ever come close to marrying anyone?”

“Well, me and some buddies got stupidly drunk in Vegas when I was nineteen, and if not for the fact a coin tossing contest got our asses thrown in jail before we could, that would have been the one and only time I’d ever be glad we didn’t have marriage equality in America.”

When he manages to stop laughing, he starts, “So, uh, did-”

“No, I didn’t want to marry any of them. I didn’t have any feelings for any of them. We- no normal nineteen-year-old can be expected to know how taxes work. There were four of us, and we decided we’d all get a massive tax break if we paired off and married. Drunk logic at it’s finest.”

“Does marriage come with a tax break?”

“Under certain circumstances, yes. Sober me with a slightly better understanding of how taxes work wouldn’t recommend tax benefits as the sole reason for anyone to get married.”

“I’m guessing, unlike nineteen-year-old you, you’re now the type who believes marriage should be for love.”

Taking a drink, Sam leans back on his elbows. “Marriage is a complicated thing. If two people decide they can go into it without romantic love, I hope they’re right. Some people can, and some can’t. When it comes to me, maybe when I was younger, I could have, but now, I can’t personally see myself marrying someone I wasn’t in love with, who didn’t feel the same.”

“I think it’s smart to go into marriage with the knowledge, there is a possibility of failure happening in every relationship. And then, shove that knowledge aside and focus on always keeping the relationship healthy and your love strong. If you tried your best, and it just didn’t work, then, you fall back on that knowledge and try to avoid blaming yourself.”

“Definitely smart,” he says. “Well, I’m glad that was your biggest regret to-date.”

Almost immediately, he realises this wasn’t a good thing to say. Sam’s suddenly all tight and coiled, and his eyes are painful to look at.

“Sam, I’m-”

“I don’t know what Riley was. But you’re not alone. I probably should have said that earlier.”

This is dangerous territory, he knows.

“Before you say anything else: You are sober now, right?”

A little of the tension leaves, and Sam rolls his eyes. “That beer I had earlier is the only one I’ve had today.”

“It goes both ways. If you want or need to talk, I’m here. But if you don’t, I won’t push, Sam.”

Sam’s smile is sad. “Yeah.” He looks back up, and Steve knows he’s imagining Riley.

“The thing is, you might know what I’m talking about. Riley and me, we- there were times we didn’t even need to speak. We just knew what the other was thinking. I’d be near him, and everyone and everything would just fade into the background.”

Sam looks over. “Did you know?”

“I suspected, but I was never sure if there was something between you or if one of you felt something for the other. I wondered if you might be bisexual, too, but mostly, it was him and what he was to you I wondered about.”

“We were at war. DADT was in place. And-” Sam shakes his head. “He collected stamps, and guess who was always roped into helping sort the new ones he got to ship home to his parents? Man, I had better things to do with my free time than to sit on a too-narrow bunk bed and help a grown man sort by date. I’m still not even sure how he kept constantly finding new stamps to buy or trade things for.”

He knows he’s probably losing the battle against smiling.

“Except, that was the best part of my life. And I knew so much about him. I know he loved me, too. But if I was wrong about the type of love, it could have ruined everything. I knew he had a few girlfriends when he was younger. He never engaged in any sort of homophobia that I knew of.”

“Then, you know the rest. He died. I sat on his bed, organised the last stamps that’d ever go into his collection for his parents, and- Well, and is still going, isn’t it?”

Sam, you’re plenty brave, he wants to say. Hell, you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. And you’re even kinder than you are brave. For all you admired Captain America, it was Steve Rogers you drug to meet your sister and her family and made eggs for while your precious kid niece told me all the embarrassing stories her mom had told her about you.

It’d be easy to say all that.

Things like: _I saw this painfully good-looking man running, and I either wanted to irritate him or make him smile, to be honest, I’m not even sure what I was going for, but you smiled, you laughed,_ _you had a killer sense of humour,_ _and it was beautiful_ , and: _You also scared me with how well you saw through me, and it still scares me, sometimes, how_ _you know me as well as Bucky once did._ _Less scary but more uncomfortable is how I want to kiss you at the oddest of times, how I dream about waking up and falling asleep next to you, and_ _the fact, I’d never punch Bruce, but if he ever comes back and doesn’t have a hell of a good reason for being gone all these years, I’m going to want to for every time Tamila talked about watching that DVD with him_ , would be harder.

He could handle Bucky dropping him off a cliff. The worst thing Bucky, not anything the Winter Soldier did but Bucky himself, ever did was drag him on that roller coaster, and if not for him having to stop his ma from killing Bucky, he would have killed Bucky himself.

Sam made his decisions the best he could given everything he was faced with. He didn’t have enough information to make an accurate assumption how it’d likely go, he understood the potential risks if it went badly, and part of him was selfless in doing everything he could to make sure he could always protect his friend and teammate.

It’d be easy to make the same decision, but in his case, he can’t keep living with the uncertainty of ‘what if’. It would be hiding. It would be cowardly. It would be living a lie.

He knows Sam is against Hydra and any other threats Earth faces for the long haul, he knows he could work without Sam if necessary, and he knows, even if it loses him almost every single friend he still has, people knowing about his bisexuality isn’t something he has to be truly afraid of anymore. More than this, he knows he does have a small chance.

But not tonight.

Tonight, they’re both incredibly vulnerable, and it wouldn’t be right to lay something so big on a guy after he just confessed to once being in love with his dead best friend.

“Hey, I’m done. You?”

Seeing they’ve both finished their food, he nods. “Yeah. I’ll carry the recycling thing if you carry the cooler?”

“Sounds good. I’m going to turn in early tonight.”

He knows there’s a good chance Bucky isn’t around, but he can still imagine Bucky rubbing his temples and shooting him an incredulous, irritated _what the hell am I going to do with you, Stevie?_ look.

Sighing, he keeps walking.

Tomorrow or the day after, he’ll tell Sam. He needs to tell him before the Russia mission, but-

In front of him, Sam stops to let some armadillo-looking critter pass by, and-

“Hey, Sam.”

Turning, Sam looks at him, and damn the too-clear stars, bright, full moon, and vibranium used to create the subtle but powerful artificial lighting surrounding the area.

“I’m about to do something that’s possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve done since I got unfrozen. And if it turns out to be that, just know that it’s truly been an honour and a privilege serving with you and being your friend for all these years, okay?”

Setting the cooler down, Sam comes over, and giving him a tilted head, quirked eyebrow look, he takes the recycling thing and sets it down, too. “What’s going on?”

“It’s you. Uh, earlier, you asked if I was interested in anyone, and I sort of dodged the question. Truth is, I’ve been gone on you for a long time, and this might be the worst time, but-” He trails off.

Then, Sam smiles, and his heart is beating too fast and erratically, and it reminds him of being a sickly kid, of kissing Bucky and Peggy for the first times, of seeing them again in the 21st century.

Sam’s fingers on his cheek make him shaky inside.

“You haven’t been alone. Worst time or not, stupid mistake or not, if you’re willing to take those risks, I’m game.”

Leaning forward, he kisses Sam, and it’s even better than he’s been imagining all these years.

When it breaks, Sam’s grin has a beautiful softness to it. “If you wanted- you could come to my room tonight?”

Sam’s hand is still in his hair, and when he reaches up to rub his neck, their arms make contact.

“You should probably know, aside from kissing, I haven’t done a lot of things in a long time. Literally last century. And, uh, there are some things I’ve never done.”

Bringing their hands down, Sam says, “Hey. The things we need to take slow, we’ll take slow. It’s too soon to be talking about marriage, but trust me, the last thing I want with you is some fling.”

He kisses Sam again. “Your room definitely sounds better than mine tonight.”

…

After breakfast, Bucky meets them at the plane.

They thank T’Challa and Shuri, and then, he squeezes Bucky’s hand. “I’ll contact you as soon as I can.”

Bucky nods. “I’m doing fine here. Concentrate on yourself while you’re out there.”

“I will.”

Sam steps forward, and to his surprise, Sam extends his hand.

Buck is visibly surprised, too, but after a second of hesitation, he shakes it. “Take care of him. Watch out for him. You can’t take your eyes off him for a second before he’s gone and done something big.”

He starts to protest, but Sam laughs. “Yeah, I’ve learned that that isn’t an exaggeration. Take care of yourself, too, alright?”

Looking at him, Bucky nods again. “End of the line.” Then, he smiles at Sam. “Come back with him.”

“You got it.”

Coming over, he hugs Bucky. “We’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, Stevie.”

Feeling a pang, he takes a deep breath, and then, taking Sam’s hand, he gets onto the plane. As it lifts off, he looks down, and he sees a gaggle of children have appeared and are yet again making use of their new friendly neighbourhood wolf-slash-jungle gym.

Turning away, he kisses Sam. “So, when did you start having feelings for me, Sam Wilson?”

Smiling, Sam links their hands together before answering.


End file.
